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"No male is a predictor in his own country."
That line keeps running via my mind as I sit over lunch with my sister who I haven't seen in several years. These days I'm the enlightened guy, but to her I'm just the bratty children who couldn't make eye adjoin while she wore a bikini.
It's summer '01 and we're having lunch in lower Manhattan. She read a preview duplicate of Damnedest and has had a few months to digest it. It was very good of her to read it because it's really not her variety of thing. She's a good inhabitant; a successful administrative, wife, mother,jordan 13 shoes The Old Cinderella Story and Your, Republican, tennis nut,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Christian-ish,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and all-round pregnant membership of society. (She once told me she was raising her babies to be productive members of society and I winced so hard I nearly pieced a tooth.) She's a superb person, but not a membership of the demographic the paperback speaks to.
There's a plate of chilled pasta in front of me and a salad in front of her. We're either drinking iced tea. She's escapes scampers the inspired side of a medium-sized ad agency and, I have no mistrust, she's quite good at it. She's taking time out of a busy schedule to have luncheon with me. After this,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I'm going to the park to arrange in the grass and watch people play with their dogs.
Visiting your sister and having lunch shouldn't be a confusing ordeal, but it is. Is she really my sister? What does that mean? We share some history and acquaintances, such as infancy and parents. Are my parents really my parents? Genetically they are related to my body, but the human who lived my childhood is no longer here. The past I share with this human is about as real and important to me as whether I'd peruse it in a pamphlet.
The problem is that these people, my household, are always relative to my shell, and I'm not. They're looking at the external Jed McKenna and assuming an internal Jed McKenna. I'm inside Jed McKenna looking out and I can't truly remember what he's assumed to do or say. It's always fakery. I'm an actor playing a role with for which I feel no articulation and have not motivation. There cannot be anything sincere in my dealings with people who are dealing with my outer garment. (The whole thing is beyond embarrassed by the truth that there's not "I" inhabiting my shell, fair a fading reverberate, but let's not go down that road emerge from.)
Actually, it's not really confusing. I possess not the least snatch of doubt about who and what I am. The shifty thing is that who and what I am is not related to this pretty, professional,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], salad-eating female cross from me. By coming to this lunch I have inserted myself into a location where I do not belong. I am an imposter. I have some residual fondness for my sister and if she died I'd be saddened to muse that she was no longer in the earth,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but the simple fact is that our sometime relationship no longer exists.
Okay, so why am I telling you this?
Because that's what I do. I try to hold this enlightenment thing up for display and this seems favor one amusing facet of the whole deal. How do you narrate to the people who were maximum important to you before awakening from the imagine of the segregated ego?
She asks why I'm in town.
"My astrologers told me it was a agreeable period to get away and no try to realize everything. They said that ketu and rahu wouldn't be letting me get anything done for awhile
I look up and discern namely she has stopped chewing in mid-mouthful and namely staring at me incredulously.
"What?"
"My
"You're not solemn. You have astrologers?"
Oh yeah. I guess that sounds weird. I was vaguely aware that I was trying to be funny by starting a sentence with "My astrologers told yet what's a little amusing to me is other-worldly to her. Might as well have amusement with it.
"I have dozens of astrologers. I can't swing a die feline without kicking somebody who's act my blueprint or unraveling how my future will unfold; advising me ashore pretty many everything."
Her wording doesn't change. "You have astrologers?"
"Lots. Gotta buffet 'em off with a mallet."
"And they tell you... They tell you what the future holds? Wh